Earlier today (about 50 seconds ago) I was having a conversation with a dear friend (MC) about running into shitheads we don’t like. My response was “I avoid people I hate by never leaving my apartment!”
I literally have only gotten out of bed in the last 5 hours to make coffee/pour coffee/pee out coffee.
Then I realized no matter how much time I spend on Tumblr whilst sitting on my throwing cups of coffee down my throat….I have a roommate.
A roommate that I hate.
Once upon a time, there was a panda. This panda wasn’t any ordinary panda, it was a panda that could totally speak english. Most pandas speak Chinese but this was a bilingual panda, which made it super special. One day, the bilingual panda (whose name, we have learned is Larry) decided to move to…
Sometimes… I take pain meds for my gallbladder issues, and this is what happens
Molly (@meatcatmolly)
- If i eat enough starfruit, do i become more obscure? #foodquestions
- If i drink a lot of that amp shit, do i turn into a subwoofer?
- I just don’t think “religiousity” is a word.
- “Youre welcome. I think half-asleep me has a bright future in the stand-up (lay-down?) comedy field.” #shitigettexted
- “I don’t care if you have legs….You just have to have a bellybutton!”#finley
MC (@MCLampe02)
- There is someone with a British accent in the bookstore…. I want to makeout with them.
- Does anyone else forget to breathe sometimes? No… Just me? #ignoreme
- Spending my Friday night at home, laying in bed, and watching netflix. #IAmTheMostExcitingPersonEver
- My life is a musical. Random bursting into song, dancing, and a super hilarious but riviting storyline
- You may now call me President Lampe McMohawk #swag
- The lady at the Chinese food place greeted me on the drive thru intercom with “IT’S YOU!!” #ieattoomuchchinesefood
- Also..my aunt is going around saying “my name is Cynthia….. And I got a boob job.”
Our twitters are just as strange as ever! You should follow us and catch all of the ridiculousness as is happens!
1- The Snail
This person has probably had way too many run-ins with hard liquor lately and are trying to “slow down.”. A few nights of “What the fuck am I doing with all these White Castles?” and a few mornings sweating out straight whiskey and wine really doesn’t seem like a terrible idea. There is no way in hell this person can actually give up drinking, but beer feels too midwestern and takes too long to get drunk. Yes, this person still gets wasted.
2- The Eye-Roll-Target
Remember that episode of South Park when Stan’s parents moved to San Fran and the pretentious d-bags in the neighborhood smelled their own farts? Those assholes loved some wine. There are actually people like this that aren’t in cartoon form!! They like wine too. Except not any wine, only the kind that average Americans can’t pronounce or afford. This person’s favorite insult is probably, “Please! Charlotte is suuuch a Riesling!”
3- The Classy Beyotch
The general philosophy of this set of booze consumer is something along the lines of, “Whatever happens is totally still classy….if you’re wearing pearls.” Also white and in a sorority. You can spot this one drinking boxed white wine out of a floral travel coffee mug on the way to class/the mall/daddy’s house/frat party.
4- The Suburban Interior Decorator
There is a LOT of kitchy home decor that is wine themed. And there are even more suburban parents who work at banks who want to decorate with that crap. They probably only started drinking wine to not feel like a total hypocrite when they shelled out cash for a polka-dotted spice rack that says “Mama Needs Her Medicine” with a piece of stemware on it.
……Sometimes Molly drinks too much coffee and can’t sleep. This is what you fuckers get.
Here is another lovely addition of Things We Tweeted This Week!!!
Molly:(@MeatCatMolly)
- today i drank a latte out of my purse and am now listening to salt n pepa in a parking lot in mt adams waiting for melissa to shit.
- my spring break is about to be nothing but toddlers & tiaras.
- I just don’t like strangers. Thank meatcat for iced coffee. #Caffeinefixeseverything
- Audre Lourde is like Taylor Swift, you date her you get written about lolz #shitzachtexts
my boyfriend was a minnesota diaper model. #perfect
M.C.: (@Mclampe02)
- Some people have skeletons in their closet… I have barbies. #mcproblems
- Annnnddd..my car is on fire. #awesome #ihatethisweek
-“I like when I have green poop.. it changes things up.” #shitmysistersays
-“Alien Dick does strange things to people” @mama_dave
-Apparently my dog found a check In my room that I forgot existed. #moneydog
-Ohhh were… Is my hairbrush?!? Oh where…. Is my hairbrush!?! Oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where OH WHERE!!!!!!!!!! …
There you have it kids, a collections of the weirdness that goes on in the lives of MC and Molly. Enjoy!
Hey everyone! It has been awhile. Molly and I have been dealing with tons of school and life related stress, which actually sparked this lovely text conversation.
Backstory: I am currently having gallbladder issues and might have to get a test done that injects radioactive shit into your body to see what your gallbladder is up to.
Molly: You should have a t-shirt made. “My gallbladder is radioactive and all I got was this stupid t-shirt.”
Me: I’ll get that made the same time I get my speakoutpalooza shirt made for all of the speakouts I have been doing at school.
Molly: Hell Yeah! Tshirt Party!! Its like panama city, but no sand in your asscrack.
Me: No sand… but lots of radioactive gallbladders
Molly: Which is as glowy as a Panama City Beach sunrise
Me: We can take the radioactive gallbladder to a rave, and it could be it’s own glowstick
Molly: …or trade it for drugs
Me: I think a radioactive body part is worth at least 5 hits of something.
I’ll let you all know how this plan goes….
HEY Y’ALL. Sorry it’s been awhile!!
I’ve always been SO inspired by famous quotations, so I decided to post some of my favorites to the page, you know, so y’all can fully understand where I gain all of my most important influence.
Live, Laugh, Love.
-Emily Dickinson
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
-Lee Harvey Oswald
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
- Hitler
If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
-Paula Deen
A picture is worth a thousand words.
-Any old woman with pictures from her last vacation
Be yourself, everybody else is already taken.
-Nicki Minaj
Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.
-The inventor of morphine
Reach for the moon, for if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.
-Nicolaus Copernicus
If you dream it, you can do it!
-Freud
Today, I was in RA Spring training (yeah…I’m a resident assistant, y’all.) and my phone died for the last like, two hours.
When I turned it back on, these were the SIX texts my darling mother, Melissa had sent me.
1.) Why do people laugh when they greet me?
2.) My pants are high water, but other than that, I’m not in costume.
3.) Though I did wear a costume to work today.
4.) I don’t really need you to carry on this conversation.
5.) Stream of consciousness texts
6.) Maybe that’s why people laugh at me. I’m laughing at myself. Thanks for helping me answer my question.
….GAH SHE’S AWESOME.
Loves,
Molly
Blurg, SO SWEET!! Ready for England?!
Hey friend-os!! If y’all know Meghan and I at all… you know we LOVE us some Twitter. I mean, it’s a place for all the dark and twisty shit that spews out of our brains to go… in 140 characters or less!
Here’s some of the highlights!!!!1!!11!!!1
Meghan (@Megster449)
Molly (@XMollyXMaleficX)
Moral of the story:
Our awkward addictions and mildly psycho families make for excellent Twittering.
Me: I didn’t play a word on Words With Friends because it was racist.
Molly: Really?
Me: My cultural awareness is making my lose Words With Friends.
Molly: That’s awesome and hilarious.
Me: My life is ridiculous.
Molly: I mean, I made a scene at the cell phone store.
Me: We are a mess. A wonderful mess full of glitter and rainbows, but still a mess.
She would get me black out drunk and convince me to get a, “Live Laugh Love” tattoo on my foot. Maybe with a daisy.
Sorry I’m mean.
Loves,
Mollypops
Hi!
I’m Meghan, half of this crazy little Cute for Them team. I thought that before we started flooding this blog with mindblowingly awesome shit, I would tell you a little about myself.
I am 21 yrs old, currently studying Women and Gender Studies in college, and an avid television watcher. Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you I don’t fuck around about my TV shows. I am a serious fanperson ( not fangirl.. not fanboy.. but fanperson!)
I happen to have the most awesome best friend on earth, Molly, the other half of Cute For Them, and together we do and say some pretty entertaining things. We also have a tendency to get ourselves into the most ridiculous situations possible.
I honestly don’t know what is going to come out of this blog. I would say expect random text convos about a wide variety of subjects (such as veggie tales or apple tart being a sign of gayness), expect lost of fun, and of course a shit ton of absurdity.
This is me.. action shots are awesome.
I’m home for family holiday shit, right? And my gayest, bestest friend from high school, Derek, is here. Then festivities happened that I needed to text Meghan about. This is what happened:
Molly: I was playing catchphrase and Derek was my partner and I had to make him guess “pie” and I said, “do you want a piece of apple…?” and he guessed TART.
Meghan: and that’s how you know he’s gay.
Molly: stereotypes for everyone!
Meghan: you get a stereotype! And you getna stereotype! And you get a stereotype! Everyone gets a stereotype!!!!
Molly: ALL THE STEREOTYPES.
….now someone is playing piano and everyone is talking about bingo.
This is mynlife or something.
Love and rage!
-mollypops
